Do your Duty
It was a freezing winter morning. Pc Plod and pc wurld were shivering in their squad car. "Good God Plod I cannot wait till this shift is over" said Pc Wurld. It was 4am and up to now they have had a quiet night. "Lets go for a ride round Plod".
Pc Wurld started the car and away they went through some of the worst crime riddled streets of England.
It was not long before they spotted a suspicious character trying to break into a car. "What do you think wurld, is he an easy target? "no said Pc Wurld, lets get something more productive". They carried on down the road and soon saw another suspicious character breaking into the co-op. "look at that Wurld, he is breaking into a British institution, is he an easy target? "No said Pc Wurld lets get something even more productive". They carried on down the road and soon saw another suspicious character selling things from his car. "Now come on wurld that guy is selling drugs from his car, he must be an easy target". "No Plod, there is easy pickings on the high street, the others would cost the Government money, it is our duty to save the government money and therefore it is better to generate money for the Government". Pc Plod was getting really confused and angry, he was a genuine policeman who wanted to lock all criminals up for their crimes, but he was up against Pc Wurld and rumour is that Pc Wurld is a Government agent, who's only duty was to save money for the Government, money to spend on more arms of mass destruction. The Nation knows that any Government is only interested in power and they do not care about it's people once they have control. Pc Plod was wondering what Pc Wurld was on about when he mentioned easy pickings.
The road ahead was pitch black and all the street lights had been vandalised, "be careful down here Wurld" said Pc Plod. All of a sudden something bright shot across the cars path, wurld slammed on the brakes "what the hell was that" shouted wurld. "it looked like a monk" said Pc Plod. "it was carrying something in it's hands" said wurld. "Lets look at the tape" said Pc Plod. Good idea said Pc Wurld. All squad cars have video surveillance cameras on their front dashboard looking through the windscreen, so with a bit of luck they will have recorded it Pc Plod was rewinding the tape and Pc Wurld was telling him to hurry up. Here we are said Plod. They both looked at the tape in amazement, it was clear as a bell. "Good God Plod it is a monk carrying a picture of me". "Yes said plod, the bastard's got the Wurld in his hands".
"Do not mention this to the other's Plod, they will not believe us".
They were nearing the end of the dark street and entered the high street. "Now then plod here we will get easy pickings". Pc Wurld pulled up outside of the fish shop. "It is 5.30am so we have only got an hour before the shift finishes so get as many as you can". " I do not understand wurld, Get as many what as I can? "Cars without tax you silly boy, there will be loads on the street at this time of day". Pc Plod was devastated, he never realised for one minute that wurld was going to bypass some of the worst criminals in the country just so he can catch car tax dodgers. "But why" said plod. "It is quite simply a matter of finance, These people are all hardworking royal subjects and all should have their cars taxed, it is the law of the land" said Wurld. "yes I agree said Plod, but some people cannot afford to tax their cars and they have not got access to off road parking, we could have caught some genuine criminals earlier on tonight". "Look at it from the Governments point of view Plod, if we catch and jail the genuine criminals then it will cost the government millions to keep them in jail, if we catch and fine the genuine motorists then it will generate money for the treasury and then all the MP's will be happy. Now do you not think it is better to see an happy government than an happy population. Pc Plod was too dumbstruck to even answer him.
Between them they found 7 cars without car tax and Pc Wurld was over the moon. Pc Plod was not happy with his lot.
Both got into the squad car and wurld started the engine, it was 6.05am and the station was at the other side of town, he said to Pc Plod " I will put the blueie's on ", this was slang for the flashing blue light's police cars use for emergencies. Off they went down the road with lights and siren going at full blast, all the neighbourhood were awoke by the mayhem. "good fun this Ploddy" said Wurld. "Not really" said Plod. They were going through the town centre heading uphill towards the cemetery, "Good God Plod we will wake up the dead" said wurld laughing. Plod cringed with contempt for the man. Faster and Faster Wurld went, the station was in sight and Pc Plod was sighing with relief just one more bend he thought and then we are there.
The bend got closer and Wurld got faster, "surely he will slow down" Plod thought to himself. unfortunately Wurld did not slow down and consequently went round the bend at 70 miles an hour, it was not a very sharp bend but it was still too fast to go round it. Wurld was shocked when he saw another car on his side of the road when he got round the bend, he tried desperately to brake and avoid the other car, but both cars violently collided together and plod and wurld were crushed against the front by the impact, both cried out in agony, the sound of the sirens and the cars crunching together drowned out their painful moans. At this time they did not notice who was driving the other car, Plod was coming to his senses and tried to get the radio working to get assistance, he was bleeding down the left hand side of his legs, "Wurld are you okay" he shouted. He found his personal police walkie talkie and called for help, "Bravo Tango Bongo Wongo, is there anybody there" said Plod, " "what's up Plod" said someone at the station, "Wurld has crashed the car into another car and we are injured over" "okay where are you over" "we are outside the Randy Lesbian on Legunder street" "okay Plod we will send medics and assistance".
Plod was trying to get Wurld to wake up when he noticed something odd about the driver of the other car, surely he cannot be seeing what he thought he was seeing, he tried to clean the windscreen for a better view, wurld was moaning and mumbling, "Wurld are you okay", "I think so" said Wurld, "the ambulance is on its way Wurld" said Plod. Plod noticed the figure in the other car was moving, Plod managed to clean the windscreen, "f**king hell" he shouted, "what's up" said Wurld, "the monk we saw earlier is driving that car". Wurld looked out of the window and curled up with sheer fear. "oh my God, you are right Plod". The monk just stared at them both and smiled. Plod could not believe what was happening it was like a nightmare come true. He could see the ambulance coming down the street with a police escort, but they seemed to be frozen in time. "Plod, Plod" shouted Wurld. "What" said Plod, "That car the monk is driving, it is mine". Both of the policemen were trembling with fear. "How the hell can that monk be driving wurld's car", Plod thought.
Both of the policemen were watching the monk and at the same time they were praying that the ambulance and back up would arrive soon. The monk was still smiling and still had the photograph of Pc Wurld in his hands. Plod noticed that there was writing on the top of the picture and he asked Wurld if he could see what it said. Wurld struggled to get a good view and the monk seemed to realise they were trying to look at it, slowly but surely he lifted the photograph of Pc Wurld up, on the top it said in red letters Pc Wurld is a HYPOCRITE, for this car is not taxed. Well both men were just stuck for words and just stared at the picture for ages. "F***ing hell Plod I forgot to tax my car" said Wurld. "You have been chased by your own conscience dressed in a monks outfit" said Plod. "What do we do Plod? said Wurld. "The 7 tickets we made out to prosecute those drivers for no car tax, we have to tear them up and destroy them", replied Plod. "We cannot do that" said Wurld.
The monk was watching with eager eyes and his expression began to change, his face began to crochet, his eyes shone a deep red and his nose was getting larger both men were transfixed to his glare. "You will destroy the tickets or die" wailed the monk. Both men instantly agreed and Wurld pulled them out of the briefcase, "what do we say to the people at the station" said Wurld. "We'll say our memory has gone" said Plod. "But that is my car and the monk will vanish when the ambulance arrives" said Wurld. "Look Wurld just tear the F***ing 7 tickets up" shouted Plod. Wurld started to tear the tickets up and the tears of frustration flowed down his ugly face. The last ticket was in shreds and instantly the monk vannished and the medics were there.
Both men were taken to hospital and both made a full recovery. Pc Plod carried on being a good policeman. Pc Wurld ended up in a mental home. The monk was never found.
It is of course a fictional story but Liar's and hypocrites should be aware of their conscience, especially those in trusted positions in society.
© Albut Ross 2004
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